inappropriately giddy

i will never forget the way you used to make me feel. when you would whisper sweet things and make me smile. i was working back then four days a week and doing a million and one assignments all the time. when we would talk during the wee hours of the morning i always felt like i didn't need anything else in the world. you became somewhat of a refuge. i miss sharing stories with you. sharing secrets. sharing songs. i guess it was only natural that in the last couple of months i've come to realise how much i actually cared about you. its worse now because it's like a scar that i should have tended to all those years ago. its worse still because you were there for me when i needed you at the end of last year and you really shouldn't have been. i stop myself every day from contacting you because i know its not fair.


you are perfect and i figured it out too late.

my refuge

Picture Above from left to right.
My table, clearly.
1.Painting my friend Amani generously and kindly created for me 'for the soul walks upon all paths, the soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed. the soul unfolds itself like a lotus of countless petals.
2. 'the jar' with exactly seven of my favourite coins
3. a collection of jane austen classics and a stationary stand my eldest sister painted and decorated for me.
4. Babushkas my second eldest sister bought me on a recent trip to Melbourne.
5. A creation by my little brother Sam.
6. The calender I get every single year ; Delbard Roses.
7. A container I bought in Rockdale after my first HSC exam with a girl named Jeremae - contains post-its, eye drops, band aids, rubber, sharpener etc.
8. My thermos that I take everywhere and use so much that it slants to one side.
9. The back of my chair that I painted with my brother ; seize the day indeed.

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