.

Lets get serious

now.

one year.

in the last year, i have been so many different versions of myself that sometimes even i find it exhausting so i've no idea how my boyfriend feels. I am passive-aggressive, refugee advocate, drunk party girl, naive idealist and most of the time - passionate idiot. there is so much to fix about the world and mostly it just seems unfixable.

one thing is for sure though - the time that i spend on christmas island were the most love-filled weeks of my life. art class with the single, unattended adult males would consist of drawings of love... for their countries, for their wives and for their families. one man held up a charcoal drawing which featured a heart and a simple phrase 'all you need is love'.

i'd have to beg to differ though and i wonder when i went from love-song listening romantic sod to critic. to anti-cryptic. to holding the sugar coating and only wanting the raw grit of it all.

i often find myself dreaming in thomas moore-ish utopian idealism. where people were honest about their intentions and actions and acted upon them accordingly.

i've always (and still do) believed that my father is the most incredible person in the world. he's been my hero since i can remember and every single day he gives me a new reason to admire him. we talk politics at the dinner table, discuss conspiracy theories and pretty much debate americas foreign policy.

i met a man on christmas island last year who is the iranian 33 year old version of my dad ( of course not as awesome but the closest i'll probably get ). he has eyes that are knowing and enough compassion and love for the whole entire world. despite a difficult life,he has a sunny disposition and an unmatched smile. i've visited him once in detention and i did not want to leave. he actually looks like one of my really old friends. one of my old best friends. except that he recites kahlil gibran as if he is gibran himself. i love his character. i love his spirit. i love the promise of hope that he holds in his eyes. i love that people have tried to emotionally break him but he just can't be broken. he'll probably never change.

i hope he gets his australian citizenship. i pray that he does.

honesty is always the best policy

Andy Pausch once delivered what was called 'the last lecture: really achieving your childhood dreams'. He was an American Professor who delivered this speech just before he lost his battle to pancreatic cancer in the middle of 2008.

To me, his most poignant message was one about criticism. The core note was that those who criticize us only do so because they care enough to.